Thank you God for twins!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

I love being a mommy. It's the best job God could have ever given me. But I didn't feel complete with just  two. I'm so thankful my boys are happy and healthy but I longed for one more. Now this is all coming from a girl that didn't want any kids and even had here newlywed husband that we didn't "need" any! But God... God changed my heart and has given me the best gift I've ever received besides my husband. 

Because I longed for another baby, to once again hear the pitter patter of little feet learning to walk, I brought it up often. So often that it even caused arguments within our marriage because we weren't on the same page, Ryan was done, completely content with two. Every where we went I'd see larger families, pregnant mommies and it hurt. My heart ached for another precious child from God. My cycles were so out of whack that I was late and thought I was pregnant in the fall of last year, but sadly I wasn't. It hurt, I was crushed. I begged God to please close the hole and hurt in my heart because I just couldn't take it any more. I couldn't handle Ryan saying no, seeing and hearing of others pregnant and my crazy hormones and cycles. I was so hurt and broken. So I prayed for God to close the hole and hurt in my heart or to open Ryan's heart. 

I love being a mommy. It's the best job God could have ever given me. But I didn't feel complete with just two. I'm so thankful my boys are happy and healthy but I longed for one more. (Now this is all coming from a girl that didn't want any kids and even had her newlywed husband that we didn't "need" any!)

But God... God changed my heart and has given me the best gifts I've ever received besides my husband. 

Because I longed for another baby, to once again hear the pitter patter of little feet learning to walk, I brought it up often. So often that it even caused arguments within our marriage because we weren't on the same page.  Ryan was done, completely content with two. Every where we went I'd see larger families, pregnant mommies and it hurt. My heart ached for another precious child from God. My cycles were so out of whack that I was late and thought I was pregnant in the fall of last year, but sadly I wasn't. It hurt, I was crushed. I begged God to please close the hole and hurt in my heart because I just couldn't take it any more. I couldn't handle Ryan saying no, seeing and hearing of others pregnant and my crazy hormones and cycles. I was so hurt and broken. So I prayed. I prayed for God to either close the hole and hurt in my heart or to open Ryan's heart. 

Not long after the disappointment of not being pregnant (when I was so sure I was) I went on a women's retreat with our church. On the last day we had some free time to walk the grounds of the beautiful resort. While walking, praying and crying I truly felt God tell me that we'd have another child. I had such joy and peace, my prayers would soon be answered! But through ups and downs in the months to come, I continued to pray for God to either close the hole in my heart or to open Ryan's heart. 

In January I couldn't take the headaches, crazy hormones and unpredictable cycles any more so I made an appointment with my OB. He told me that my pituitary glad and ovaries were working way too hard, pre-menopausal hard. I was devastated. He said lets try some birth control to give them both a break and see what happens. I came home and told Ryan and he said "you aren't going to believe this but I think I may want to have another baby." So he said lets try the birth control for 3-4 months and we'll reevaluate. I was in awe, I was seeing God work! 

I didn't end up taking the birth control for the entire 3-4 months, after praying and the way I felt on it I only took it for about a month an a half. During all of this, I was attending team meetings for the retreat The Great Banquet. God's timing is so impeccable!  I was able to be still in Him and trust His promise while growing spiritually during the training for the retreat. And during these months Ryan occasionally said things about having another baby. It was so amazing to watch God soften his heart right before my eyes. 

It soon became the first weekend in march and time for the retreat! It was amazing. I grew so much during those 72 hours. I got to watch my sister rededicate her life to Christ (praise God!!!) and I met some very good friends whom I now get to have a bible study with every other Tuesday! I'll forever cherish CRGB 54, thank you Jesus 

Ryan continued to say little things about getting pregnant and in April he finally said "let's start trying for another baby!" Praise God!!!  

We got pregnant a few months later and are excited to say we're expecting!!! I feel so blessed. I'm so thankful for what God has done in, through and for our family during this time. Ryan started a new job which is a huge financial blessing for our growing family. God's timing is impeccable, Ryan started this new job 2 days before we found out that God blessed us with two babies! I never dreamed I'd get to be a mommy of four precious children! 

We are so blessed to have been given such a precious gift, four of them. It's all God. It's all for His glory.  There are no twins on my side of the family, its not hereditary, this is all God blessing us abundantly, going beyond our prayers and dreams. Thank you Jesus for giving us more than we could have ever hoped for or imagined.

Our first celebration cake!